Day 2: January 24, 2012

 

My teacher handwriting needs work.... I need a board with lines on it obviously *shakemyhead*. Today was the first day I cried, and I'm sure it won't be the last. It's not that anything outlandishly bad happened. I was just very overwhelmed. I don't think I was read at all to take over the half hour ELA block when I haven't even had the chance to observe how an ELA block works in this classroom. I don't like flying by the seat of my pants in front of all the kids (or anyone for that matter) and that's how I felt. I know that I wasn't meant to be made feel as though I was completely unprepared, that's just how it ended up I guess. 

I understand that they're six, and that they're chatty, and they can't sit still, and I try to ignore the wiggling for the most part- but the TALKING! They just can't stop. I have to ask like 900 times for them to be quiet, for them to listen to directions, and they just DO NOT CARE. I need to find a way to gain their respect without coming off as a total jerk. I made my 2nd math group put their heads down for two minutes before snack because I was so upset that they weren't listening. "S" is definitely a spit fire, she just could not for the life of her accept that I was taking away part of their snack time to put their heads down, she kept saying "but what about snack?!?!?!" to which I responded, "You can have snack time when you're feet are on the floor, your head is down, and you're showing me that you're reading to go on." I was just so tired of the not listening. The third group listened so well, why can't they all listen like that? Because they're six, Janyce, get a grip. I just wanted to make a positive example out of the third group, but I didn't know how.  >>frustrated grumbles<< 

I hope I get better at this with time. There's just so many little things I don't know. I wish I wasn't thrown head first into the game so I had some blue clue of what I was doing, and what was expected of me. Le sigh. I'm so exhausted. Taking over ELA again tomorrow, but hopefully they'll be in reading groups so I don't have to do it. I'm not ready for this all at once, I'm not. I don't even know all their names yet.

>>Deep breath in.... I CAN DO THIS!<<